strength and weakness
One of my greatest weaknesses is that I believe “I can do it all.” I want to be able to work a full-time job, work over 20 hours at my part-time job, volunteer, host dinners at our place, coordinate events, start student organizations, translate blogs/videos, pursue graduate school full-time, and be a wife, all in my own strength.
As a wife, I want to be a friend to my husband, encourage him in his walk with the Lord, and be able to give him wise advice when he needs it. I want to be a strong support in his life and be there every time he needs me.
At home, I want to do all the cooking, cleaning, organizing, grocery shopping, and laundry.
In my walk with the Lord, I want to grow spiritually and share what God is doing in my life with others in the hope that they may find some encouragement. If it were up to me, I would host a weekly Bible study with gals in my home, have consistent discipleship, and encourage others to love our Savior and live bold lives in following Him wherever He leads.
But … my life hardly ever looks this way. More often, I’m running desperately to God and learning from Him through short times in His Word, devotionals, worship, and the encouragement of other believers. I am grateful to have learned that He welcomes me just as I am—not because of me, but because of Jesus Christ.
“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:14–16
The reality is that, the majority of the time, I consider my identity tied to what I can or cannot do. I let my feelings, emotions, actions, and lack of thereof define who I am. Guilt and fear overwhelm my heart and I become too paralyzed to attempt any of the things I am “failing” at. This translates to all my roles: wife, social worker, student—but more than anything it affects my view of God and my understanding of salvation.
Praise be to God that we are saved by what Jesus Christ did on the cross, and we are sustained in our lives by the work of the Holy Spirit—not by what you and I can accomplish (Ephesians 2:8–9)!
My belief that “I can do it all” is really a reflection of my sinful heart. My pride and ideas of self-sufficiency are displayed [in all colors and shapes] in these areas of my life. Admitting this is hard. Saying I am proud is hard—and hurts my pride! But the grace I experience on the road of repentance is beautiful. James 4:6 tells us, “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’” Again—but He gives more grace. Isn’t that beautiful?
When we come to the end of ourselves, recognizing and repenting of our sins, He who sits on the throne and judges every living creature doesn’t put a tag on us or condemn us, He gives us more grace because of what Jesus Christ did on the cross.
If you, like me, need your soul to remember the wonders of the Gospel today, I encourage you to read:
Isaiah 53:4–6; Romans 3:23–24; Romans 4:4–5, 1 Corinthians 15:3–4; Galatians 3:13–14; Philippians 2:6–8; Colossians 1:19–20; Colossians 2:13–14; Titus 3:4–7; Hebrews 2:14–17; and 1 Peter 2:22–25.
In whatever stage of life you are in—whether you are a student, a wife, a mommy, a full-time worker, or a combination of these—let the following truth sink in: I can’t do it all! This is why Jesus Christ left his eternal glory to come to earth, lived the perfect sinless life I can’t live, died on the cross to pay for my sins, resurrected from the death on the third day, and ascended to heaven to intercede on my behalf. Let it become the song of grace that leads you to love our Savior with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, so that He and only He may be glorified and exalted through all we do.
Seeking to live a life resting on His grace and forgiveness, Fernie
Fernie and her husband live in Connecticut as he pursues Dental School. She is a social worker currently finishing her master’s in social work. Fernie is passionate about making her workplace a mission field, particularly as she works with children who have experienced much trauma. She finds joy in being able to serve the orphans, the poor, and those in need for the glory of Christ. Fernie is passionate about encouraging other women to live lives that reflect the calling of our salvation and rejoicing in the hope we have in Christ. She also loves reading, writing, and sharing meals with people. Find her on Instagram.