Confession:

I sometimes think quantity is better than quality. Two peanut butter cups is always better than one, even if they are two Reese’s versus one Justin’s. Four pairs of Gap jeans is surely better than one pair of Sevens, because what mom is willing to risk getting snot and strawberry hands all over her jeans? Five kids have proven over and over again to be better than one for our family. 

But this is particularly true when I'm reading my Bible. Because I've only been reading my Bible for about five years now I often feel the need to "catch up" to my more seasoned peers. Ever since I was saved I have had the burning hunger to know God's Word. Desire has never been an issue. 

The Downside

The downside to this burning hunger—impatience, if you will—is my tendency to want the quantity over the content. I want to say I read all of Joshua or the entire New Testament. I’m desperate to have the quantity. To have the feeling that I’ve seen it all. In my desperation, I went through a study that was an overview of the Bible in a week. It was great because I did learn the timelines and got a basic understanding of the stories, but it didn't change me. It didn't change my heart or grow me in the ways I had hoped knowing God's Word would.

It didn’t change me because I didn’t allow it to. I didn’t meditate on the Word. I didn’t even read all the words. I skimmed. I skipped past the words I didn’t know, I moved quickly past the long names and the foreign places. And so the Bible was still uncharted territory for me. 

A New Way of Study

Today, though, a verse stopped me. I read it again and again and again. In fact, I don't think I'll read another verse all day:

“Pursue your enemies; attack their rear guard. Do not let them enter their cities, for the LORD your God has given them into your hand.” (Joshua 10:19)

Why this verse? I don't have any enemies. I'm not going after a city. If I were just reading this chapter like normal, I would ignore the weight each of these 25 words carries. When I lean in, I recognize I do have enemies. They don’t carry names like Tina and Cathy, or Jericho and Assyria. No, they are named Distraction, Comparison, Greed, Guilt, and Pride. Once identified, I can pursue them and attack them armed with the armor of God (Ephesians 6). I can resolve to put my phone on airplane mode more. I can champion another woman every time I feel a sliver of comparison. I can give of my time, my money, and my love freely. 

And when all of that still feels daunting, when the whole Bible is not read, when the distraction is still there, when the pride bubbles up, I can remember God has already won this and every battle. He is victorious; I am victorious. 

Forever Changed

I'm thankful for the Holy Spirit. I'm thankful that today, not yesterday, not ten weeks ago, but today God chose to reveal this to me. I'm thankful I am able to stop today and meditate on each word. And I'm thankful for the opportunity to grow, to change, and to become more of who He has called me to be.

May each of us be still enough to listen, be knowledgeable enough to press in, and be victorious in Him.

Your Sister, Rachel

Rachel Bobbs is a mother of five, wife, co-host of Honest Moms Podcast and overall encourager with a heart to transform women’s lives through the power and love of Jesus. She believes that community provides the opportunity to battle on behalf of others and is our privilege as believers to intercede for one another.

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