I woke up this morning another year older. When I was younger I couldn’t wait to enter my twenties, but now that I am nearing the end of them I am coming to a fuller realization that these days are limited. Life seems to speed up as the years progress at a rate I can barely keep up with! Lately, there is rarely a day that feels as if life is inching by like it did when I was a child. Back then, I couldn’t wait to get to the next step to experience what was coming. I often wished away the season I was in so I could get to the next one where I would go to college…or get a real job…or become a wife…or have a home…or have a baby (the list could go on and on). Now that all of these things have come to fruition, I’m realizing more and more that these things were never meant to satisfy my soul. Only Jesus can do that.
The past year of my life has been one of the hardest I’ve walked through. In 2016 I trudged through a desert season that seemed unending as I battled health issues that led to anxiety and depression. In many ways, I had been coasting through life up until that point, only to find myself falling into a deep, dark pit, grasping for air. Yet, in those low moments, God was more real than ever before. That valley I walked through might have been one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given. I better understand the despair that others walk through in life and the hope that we have in Christ. I am more aware of my own frailty and limitations. And, even more-so, my soul has become awakened to God’s power and ability save and rescue us from the pits we often fall into.
God is more powerful and able than we give Him credit. He is more loving and forgiving than we believe. And He is more gracious and in control than we admit.
I know that I am still relatively young according to human standards, but I also know that tomorrow isn’t a guarantee. We never know what is around the corner. But we do know this: God is good, God is for us, and God will receive the glory. As I enter into a new year of life, I want to embrace this perspective. I want to live these brief days knowing my purpose and having a singleness of goal—to know Jesus and make Him known. I want to fight for joy and sacrifice time I would have spent doing lesser things to do the greater thing—sit with Jesus in His Word. I want to love others without expecting to be loved back. And I want to write words that require vulnerability in order to build others faith and point them back to Jesus. I know that it is easy to write these things and harder to put them into practice, but by God’s grace I believe that the Holy Spirit can etch them into my mind and be in me all that I cannot be in my own strength.
Counting The Days
Yesterday as I was cooking dinner and my little boy was sitting on the counter “helping” me, I decided it was time I started teaching him Bible verses. Don’t get me wrong, Nolan still barely talks and it will likely take a very long time to get him to understand these verses, but I believe that even through the act of attempting to hide truth in his heart God will inevitably hide it in his little heart and mine as well. I glanced around to find a verse that I could teach him and saw this verse card that I had pinned above the kitchen sink:
“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12
I quickly made up some hand motions and started saying it out loud with Nolan. Granted, he just stared back at me then started laughing at the crazy hand motions I was doing! But in that moment God spoke to my heart. Do you want to get a heart of wisdom? “Yes, Lord”, I thought to myself! Then you’ve got to start numbering your days. That’s where it begins, counting the days for the glory of God. I’ve got to start living with the perspective that each day is a gift and a trust from God. I’ve go to start believing that what I do now will affect eternity and then actually living like it.
Today I’m embracing the wisdom of Psalm 90:12. I want to live knowing these days are numbered and God has a plan for each one of them. I want my gaze to be set on Jesus—always. It took me 28 years to get to this point, and I am so grateful for God’s grace to still teach me that wisdom is found in fearing Him alone. Today, I am asking you to join me in memorizing this verse and in embracing the wisdom found in counting the days we have been given and living with a single purpose while we have breath. Jesus is good and He is worth it.
counting the days for His glory,