This blog has gone untouched for a few months now. Partly because I’ve entered a new season of motherhood and have taken a step back to enjoy and learn the new rhythms of life. The other reason is because my soul has been wrestling. There are countless thoughts, numerous longings, and a plethora of lessons that my heart is mulling over every day. I’ve wanted to share them, but I hesitated because I wanted to wait to share until I fully understood them. However, the Lord has pressed on my heart to wrestle with you. My guess is, you also have wrestlings in your soul, questions left unanswered, and a longing for more than what you are living. This blog, this business, this ministry is not about perfection. It is not about cleaning up to come before God. It is about living with the end in mind or, as Jonathan Edwards said, with eternity stamped on our eyeballs. It is about making a difference in this world by following after Christ with every ounce of energy we have.
Life lived beautifully is about living for the glory of God; not perfectly, but with raw passion and reckless abandon.
Sometimes I fear women think they can only make a difference in this world by writing a book, starting something big, having a large following, a perfect Instagram account, or a home that looks like it came out of a magazine. Jesus never says that. He didn’t even have a lot of followers while he was on earth in the flesh. He had twelve followers to be exact, and two eventually denied him. Making a difference and making a name for ourselves are two different things. Making a difference is building the kingdom of God, dying to yourself, and doing all things for His glory (no matter how small they may seem). Making a name for yourself is building your own mini kingdom and doing all things for your glory. We weren’t called to make a name for ourselves, we are called to make His name great. Instead of elevating the big things, elevate Jesus. Joyfully serve Him in the small, daily tasks that add up to a life of beautiful surrender.
Life lived beautifully begins small. It is found in the wrestling. It is found in the messy moments. It begins in the secret fellowship we have with Christ each and every day.
In Genesis 32:24-32, Jacob wrestled with a man all night long before meeting his brother Esau. Some scholars believe that the man Jacob wrestled with was God Himself. After wrestling all night until the break of day, the man touched Jacob’s hip and made him walk with a limp. Jacob refused to walk away from this wrestling without a blessing. The man replied to Jacob “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed” (verse 28). Jacob walked with a blessing and with a limp after this wrestling match. Wrestling with God can deepen and widen our faith. It makes us rely on the Lord in new ways we hadn’t before.
I want to wrestle through life with you. Words take a lot of energy that I feel I don’t have lately. However, I want to journey my way through this life and the Word of God with the aim of knowing Christ and making Him known. I don’t have all the answers, but I have a holy hunger for more. I don’t want to miss the the sacred and the abundant in this life by looking to the right or to the left. There’s got to be more to this life than just getting by. There’s got to be more to motherhood than just daily survival. There’s got to be more to relationships, marriage, and friendship than just giving and receiving. There’s more. My soul knows this, and I want to wrestle with you to attain the more we have in Christ.
My heart is tired of living halfway. I am tired of knowing the Word and then walking in the same pattern of life. My soul literally aches for women to know there is more in Christ. But we have to fight for it. We have to swim upstream, climb the mountain of the heights of God, put on our running shoes and run the right race. Our arms will get tired, our legs will be weak, and our feet will get blisters. There’s a reason the Christian life is described as a race we run. Running is hard. It takes endurance. It takes courage. It takes discipline. And it takes time to become a better runner. The life we live is a fight.
We may walk with a limp after wrestling, but this limp will make us rely more on the Lord and live fully in His abundant grace upon grace.
Life lived beautifully is walking with a limp because we have encountered the Lord and hungered for more. And we have found that He alone satisfies.
Are you ready? Let’s wrestle together and fight to live this life fully for the Lord. It is already so brief, let’s not waste it.
your sister wrestling with you,