Biblical Judgment in a “Don’t Judge Me” World

October 8, 2020  - By Alisa Childers

Well-Watered Women Blog-Biblical Judgment in a Don't Judge Me World

"You Shouldn't Judge."

Once upon a couple of years ago, there was a wildly popular book written by a self-professed Christian author. It was released by a Christian publishing house and marketed on Christian platforms and websites. It was a fairy tale come true. Crushing it at the top of The New York Times Best Seller list and winning the hearts and minds of millions of women, it was featured in countless small group Bible studies and conferences nationwide. 

The only problem is that the core message of the book is the exact opposite of the biblical Gospel. So, I decided to write a little review of it and post it on my blog. I didn’t anticipate this “little review” going viral, nor did I predict the boatloads of hate mail that would sail into my inbox in the following weeks. 

Some of the emails cannot be repeated in polite company. But the bulk of the pushback can be distilled down to three fateful words: “You. Shouldn’t. Judge.” 

The message I received loud and clear was that it was wrong of me to criticize unbiblical ideas in a popular book. After all, Jesus would never be such a “McJudgypants.” With love redefined to mean the affirmation of a desire or an idea, it’s easy to see how “judging” has become the unforgivable sin in our culture. 

But Christians live by a different standard than the world. When someone says, “You shouldn’t judge,” they are actually contradicting real love, the Bible, and plain common sense. So, the next time someone pulls out this particular conversation-stopper, remember these three things: 

Saying “Don’t judge” is not biblical.

It seems like everyone’s favorite Bible verse (at least when they’re trying to keep someone from telling them they’re wrong) is Matthew 7:1. The words, “Judge not, that you be not judged,” come from the lips of Jesus himself. 

Mic drop. End of conversation—right?

Well, that only works if you scribble out the next six verses, along with some other things Jesus said, and a good portion of the New Testament. In fact, just after saying, “Judge not,” Jesus lets his audience know that when they judge, they should be very careful to make sure their judgment isn’t hypocritical. “First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye,” Jesus instructs in verse five. In other words, don’t point out a sin in your sister’s life before you confront the bigger sin in your own. 

But the whole point is to help your sister take the speck out of her eye, which requires you to judge that it’s there. So, Jesus isn’t saying that it’s always wrong to judge. In fact, verse six tells us to “not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs.” How can one identify “dogs” and “pigs” unless they first judge correctly? 

Judge the Fruit

If there is still any confusion, just a few verses later, Jesus tells us to recognize wolves, or false teachers, by their fruit. Again, this requires us to judge whether or not these teachers are speaking truth or deception. Then, in John 7:24, Jesus couldn’t say it more plainly. He directs his listeners to “not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” 

Later, in Matthew 18:15–16, Jesus gives instructions about how to confront a fellow believer if they’ve sinned against you. (Don’t forget to take the log out of your own eye first!) The apostle Paul echoes this sentiment in Galatians 6:1, by telling Christians how to handle a brother who is caught in a sin. He writes, “You who are spiritual”—think log-less in the eye—“should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.”

In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul tells the believers in Corinth that it’s actually their job to judge other believers. He writes, “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?  God will judge those outside.” 

Telling someone they shouldn’t judge is not biblical. In fact, Scripture actually commands us to judge, but to do it carefully, rightly, humbly, and without hypocrisy. 

Saying “Don’t judge” is not logical.

Imagine you are home alone and your doorbell rings. You peek through the window and observe a very large man with a gun in his hand, wearing an orange jumpsuit. He’s sweating and looking around nervously. Be honest. Are you going to open the door for him? My guess is … probably not. But wait. Why are you being so judgmental? Maybe he’s not an escaped convict but simply enjoys wearing orange jumpsuits and carrying his weapon while out for a jog. Who are you to judge? 

Obviously, this is an extreme example. No one would open the door for that guy. But this goes to show that literally everyone judges. We all make judgments about people every single day. It would be beyond illogical, and sometimes unsafe, to not judge. 

Plus, to even tell someone they shouldn’t judge is to judge that they are judging, which is considered judgmental, which requires making a judgment about all the judging. You get the point. But that whole logical mess can be avoided by simply taking Jesus’ advice to “judge with right judgment.” 

Saying “Don’t judge” is not loving.

When I was younger, I was trapped in a toxic cycle brought on by an eating disorder. One of my good friends, an eternal people-pleaser, worked up every last bit of courage she could muster to confront me. To put it lightly, it didn’t go well. I not-so-politely invited her to stop “judging” me and back all the way off. 

Nevertheless, she persisted. Her determination to make sure I was not only helped but held accountable literally changed my life. I ended up confessing my secret and getting counseling as my healing began. To this day my eyes mist with tears when I think about how much she loved me to do such a difficult thing. 

According to the Bible, love is patient and kind. It’s not arrogant or rude. 1 Corinthians 13:6 goes on to tell us that “love does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.” My friend couldn’t rejoice at my wrongdoing. Had she simply ignored the “speck in my eye,” and chosen to not judge, my life could have gone down a very different path. 

She judged me because she loved me. And it quite possibly saved my life. Judging with right judgment is not only biblical and logical, but it’s also the most loving thing you can do. 

Courageous Judgment

Culture will always have its slogans, mantras, and catch-phrases. But haven’t Christians always been countercultural? Sometimes Jesus calls us to judge each other. As difficult as it may seem, obeying his commands will keep you from being tossed about by the whims of a fickle culture. After all, that culture won’t be there for you when your life (or the lives of the people you love) falls apart from following its advice. Jesus will. 

And that’s something you can rightly judge to be true. 

Meet the author:

Alisa Childers is a wife, a mom, an author, a blogger, a speaker, and a worship leader. She was a member of the award-winning CCM recording group ZOEgirl. She is a popular speaker at apologetics and Christian worldview conferences, including STR’s Reality Conference. Alisa has been published at The Gospel Coalition, Crosswalk, the Stream, For Every Mom, Decision magazine, and The Christian Post. Her book, Another Gospel?: A Lifelong Christian Seeks Truth in Response to Progressive Christianity, is now available! You can also connect with Alisa online at

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  1. Lana says:

    So so good. And so needed. Thanks for having Alicia on. We need more brave Christian sisters like her… pls keep up this content that will turn more souls to Jesus’ feet instead of to think higher of themselves and accept what they’d prefer to hear. ❤️🙏🏼

  2. Jean Smith says:

    it’s love when you judge with your heart and by God’s words. Some people want to do what ever they please with out any one telling them God is not pleased with your actions. better to hear from a friend before to late when at the very end , you hear it from God on judgement day

  3. Kerry says:

    What would be the point of calling others to repent, if we didn’t have some sense of their standing before God? The invitation to repent presupposes judgment.

  4. Tiffany says:

    Thank you, Alisa❤️

  5. Deborah Fletcher says:

    Great article! One I wholeheartedly agree with! I, like your friend, am a natural people pleaser who has periodically been led by the Holy Spirit from time to time to confront close friends. I struggled ever so much over talking with them about the issue, but had to be obedient to the Holy Spirit’s leading. It was hard at the time, but we worked through it over time. Anyway, thank you for standing strong in the face of opposition!

  6. Belinda Butler says:

    i was literally just talking about this very thing to a co-worker after she started a conversation with “well, don’t judge me…”. I wondered where this all started myself and recently read a dated book on the author’s book and movement you mention and that is exactly where the “don’t judge” mantra started. He has done more to harm the Christian Church than just about anyone with his false Gospel. (Sorry, but it is true). I will pass this along to her.

  7. Nancy says:

    Such a good article. I think it can be summed up in one sentence. Christians are called to use good judgement without being

  8. Lisa Jones says:

    I binge on certain speakers and authors for weeks at a time… Ravi Zacharias, Derek Prince, Francis Chan, and lately, Alisa, you! You are in great company, and I’m so glad to have found you in my YouTube line-up. You are a blessing to me in this world of “cancel culture”.

  9. Jennifer says:

    This is great! I just used a bunch of blog post from here to address our ladies group on how to use social media for good and what to be aware of. I think this goes right along with it! In today’s society we have so many people who have that screen backbone and will face off and (truly) be down right hostile on topics. Thank you for sharing! And I believe I know the book you are referring to 😉 and I personally looked into it deeply and decided it wasn’t biblically based either.


    I appreciate you addressing this concept about judging. Very helpful. Thank you. As believers, we need to be mindful to speak the truth in love. That includes judging, correcting. We cannot change someone, but we can plant the seeds of truth. With persistent love. Thank you for showing us how not to misuse scripture.

  11. I saw the blog in which you said about the one upon a time of couple story. Thank you for giving the best and beautiful story. I am waiting for new blog. And i also appreciate you for this.

  12. Bhavesh K says:

    The Last Judgment, Final Judgment, Day of Reckoning, Day of Judgment, Judgment Day, Doomsday, or The Day of the Lord.

  13. BK says:

    Great book.

  14. Cheryl says:

    What a fantastic article!! I have been studying this subject out because of feeling confused. Knowing that we make judgments all the time and it’s important part of life, to make sound judgement. But your article spelled everything out so clearly, using the word of God of course.
    I am going to share this with the women in my Bible Study group. Thank you so very much!!

  15. Brenda Shealy says:

    I’m curious . What was the name of the book you’re talking about ?

  16. Tejal says:

    Wow, Interesting blog. Thank you for sharing.

  17. Arlin Audrain says:

    Agree: False religion begins with taking scriptures out of context and using them to justify our actions. When made public, they gather a following of like-minded individuals.
    But God said,” It’s not given to man the ability to direct his steps in righteousness.”
    Therefore the individual must receive a spiritual re birth and be guided by the Holy Spirit.
    Only then can mankind have the God given help to rightly interpret and live by His word.
    Satan is the deceiver when it comes to mankind’s misinterpreting righteous judgement. Satan added one word- ( NOT) -to the Judgement of God in the Garden and changed the way Adam and Eve judged the temptation.

  18. Thank you for this thoughtful, scripturally based article. I bump heads on this topic continuously and really appreciate your words. The hatefulness you got is what happens when the light of truth invades darkness. thank you for lighting the way

  19. Tiffany H. says:

    Greatly put. I would have very similar or not the same pointers. It ALL makes sense. Thanks. I’ll share it in 2022 and whatever other year people need to hear it.

  20. Ron Manske Sr. says:

    Alisa, this is one of the best papers I’ve read on this subject. Thank you for your insightful comments and loving heart.

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