When I was single, I wrote letters to my future husband. Starting in the 7th grade, I committed to the Lord that I would wait for my future husband. I poured my heart into letters over the next 12 years. These letters were stored safely in a box and were prayed over on many occasions. They served as a testament to the journey God took me throughout singleness. As I wrote, the Lord engrained this truth in my heart – Jesus is all I need. As simple as this may sound, it took years and years for me to fully grasp the truth. And even after all of those years and being married to the man I waited for, I still am learning the fullness of the truth that Jesus is more than enough.
In less than a week (and possibly even this day), I will hold my newborn son in my arms for the first time. As I write this, he is squirming around in my tummy, waiting to make his grand entrance into the world! The adventure of motherhood will no doubt be one that is humbling, exciting, and sanctifying. Throughout pregnancy, the Lord has brought me back to that same truth that I was learning in singleness – Jesus is all I need. I know that the coming days will be filled with reminders of His faithfulness, His joy, and His strength. As a soon-to-be momma, I feel incredibly inadequate and humbled to raise a son. This is a great calling from the Lord.
I long to be a mother who prays earnestly for my son, just as I prayed for my husband and still do. This letter below is one that I wrote for my son. I plan on collecting them throughout the years to give to him one day when the Lord makes it clear it is time for him to read them. I pray that they are a testimony to God’s faithfulness and a fragrant offering to the Lord.
To Our Unborn Son,
It seems like just yesterday we found out we were having you. The memory brings tears to my eyes. I was so afraid when I took that pregnancy test. Afraid of what the future would hold. Afraid of my inadequacy to be a mother. Afraid of the changes that I knew would inevitably come. In the midst of the fears that flooded my heart came an overwhelming joy in knowing that God had deemed it His perfect timing to bless us with you. In those first moments that we realized we were going to be parents and our life was about to change forever. God met us in our fear and handed us a load of joy and excitement that trumped the worries and unknowns. In His sovereign timing, He gave you to us to love, cherish, and teach about the ways of His kingdom. We began to pray for you and to thank our Creator for knitting your tiny, perfect body together in my womb (Psalm 139:13-14). And God began to do a mighty work in our hearts preparing us to be your parents.
Nine months seemed like forever when we first found out. I’ll never forget the day we finally were able to tell the world that we were having a baby. It was right around Thanksgiving and I felt like I was about to burst with gratitude knowing you were growing in my belly. Everyone rejoiced at your life! I want you to always know that from the moment you were in the womb, people rejoiced at your life. You are a gift to this world and a blessing straight from the hand of Creator God. He formed you and planned your life with a purpose and a mission. We saw this from the very beginning!
Up until this point we still didn’t know if you were a boy or a girl, but deep within my heart I felt that you were a boy. Your daddy did, too. We found out right before Christmas, and it was the best surprise to learn your gender! I remember looking at your precious face on the ultrasound screen and hearing your heartbeat. You were wiggling around and had your hands next to your mouth. We had the nurse write down if you were a boy or a girl and had planned on opening it later that evening. By the time we got to the car, I couldn’t wait any longer! I begged your dad to open it, and while sitting in the parking deck at the hospital, he opened the note and read out loud “It’s a boy!”
I remember sitting at home by myself later that day thinking about what a privilege it would be to raise a man of God. I consider it not only a privilege, but a high calling from the Lord. There is no greater thing on this earth than to be a worshipper of God. We pray that you will worship and love Jesus Christ with your entire heart. We pray that you will see the call of the great commission as greater than your own desires and dreams. We pray that you would be a man of conviction who loves his neighbor as himself, stands firm on the truth of God’s Word, and is willing to go to the ends of the earth to share the gospel with those who have not heard.
Deep down, I hope and pray that you are just like your daddy. He is a mighty warrior and man of God. He loves fiercely, works whole-heartedly, and fears the Lord fully. He is going to be the most amazing dad to you. He will take you on all kinds of adventures and teach you what it means to be a God-fearing man. Know that he loves you so much. He is my hero, and he will be yours, too.
Our precious son, know that we prayed for you before you even took a breath in this world. We believe that God has a plan for your life, and we are so grateful that we will get to be your parents! Before I met your daddy, I prayed Joshua 1:9 over him – that he would be strong and courageous in the Lord. I am continuing to pray this for you! Specifically, I pray that you would be a brave warrior for Jesus. As you grow up, we hope to lead to live a life that is contrary to this world. It is our deepest desire to model what it looks like to fear the Lord. We want to take you on adventures all over the world, but most importantly, we want you to know the adventure of being a follower of Jesus and living for the life is to come in eternity.
As we have prayed, God showed us the beautiful truth of Psalm 127:3-5 –
“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”
You are our arrow, our precious son. You are a blessing, a joy, and our brand new adventure!
It is now your birth week, and we could meet you at anytime. Last night I started crying thinking about the joy that will flood my heart when they lay you on my chest for the first time. I can’t wait to hold you! Until that moment and until the day that you read this letter, know that you are loved dearly.
You are our next adventure.
(above photos by Emily Hooten)