My head was spinning. All at once it seemed like every ball I was attempting to juggle came crashing down. I sat in the living room staring at the intimidating notifications on my phone. Sitting next to my phone was a lengthy to-do list I kept rearranging each day, hoping to finally make some headway on it. Instead, I sat there paralyzed with fear that I would make the wrong decision and waste precious time. I was enslaved to the feeling that I had to do “everything” so I ended up accomplishing nothing.
Even typing this I feel like a weight is sitting on my chest. There is so. much. to. do. Do any of you reading this feel like you have an endless to-do list and like you are being crushed by the expectations of this world? This is not living. Feeling overwhelmed by life is really no life at all. It is mere survival in the wilderness of the day-to-day grind instead of thriving in God’s grace in the midst of it all. I’m through with it. For most of my life I’ve been a “yes” girl, never questioning an offer to participate in something and rarely addressing my schedule to see if my commitments are actually doable. When it comes to planning, I tend to have a “thanksgiving” mentality.
Yesterday I sat down with my Bible, planner, Powersheets and deleted social media from my phone. For too long, I have allowed Sunday rest to become a side note. Instead of resting and enjoying the gift of soul renewal on Sundays, I have used the afternoon to get ahead for the next week. Instead of planning my days and asking what God wanted me to do, I went forward without a good plan and simply was overwhelmed.