Find it Fast
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My head was spinning. All at once it seemed like every ball I was attempting to juggle came crashing down. I sat in the living room staring at the intimidating notifications on my phone. Sitting next to my phone was a lengthy to-do list I kept rearranging each day, hoping to finally make some headway on it. Instead, I sat there paralyzed with fear that I would make the wrong decision and waste precious time. I was enslaved to the feeling that I had to do “everything” so I ended up accomplishing nothing.
Even typing this I feel like a weight is sitting on my chest. There is so. much. to. do. Do any of you reading this feel like you have an endless to-do list and like you are being crushed by the expectations of this world? This is not living. Feeling overwhelmed by life is really no life at all. It is mere survival in the wilderness of the day-to-day grind instead of thriving in God’s grace in the midst of it all. I’m through with it. For most of my life I’ve been a “yes” girl, never questioning an offer to participate in something and rarely addressing my schedule to see if my commitments are actually doable. When it comes to planning, I tend to have a “thanksgiving” mentality.
Could it be that this loneliness that lingers in our hearts is meant to point us to the only One who can fill us and meet every need for companionship, joy, hope, and peace?
I can’t…but He can.
Sand snuggled up to my toes, salty water rushing over my feet, sky bursting with brilliant colors – there’s nothing more humbling and awe-inspiring than standing on the seashore, allowing the waves to inch up and remind me that I’m part of a bigger Story. There is something about being outside the everyday norm that reminds me that I am not the main character of this life. In no way have I added to the ocean, painted the sunset, or carved out the grains of sand. I am a spectator, an embracer of the beauty and the vastness of the world around me.
And yet, I often think I’m the creator and the originator of these great ideas. I think I hold the world, well, my world and the world of those around me, together. Quick glimpses of the larger view of creation are good for the soul, and they put me in my place, but they are rare to come by.
My heart rejoices today writing this post! For months we have been praying about a ministry Life Lived Beautifully can support. Through a series of incredible circumstances and connections, the Lord led us to Kupendwa Ministries.
When you are sinking…Jesus is in the boat with you.
In the brief time I’ve been a momma, my identity has been flipped upside down and my dependency on God has been tethered to the cross of Christ. No season of life has brought me to my knees more than this new journey of learning to be a momma. Each day, much less, each second is a holy emptying of my self-centered desires and a filling up of Christ. I can’t do this work of sanctification on my own. We can’t do anything beautiful and worthwhile on our own. That’s the beauty of the gospel in everyday life. Just like the changing of nature’s seasons also brings a change in our habits, wardrobe, and lifestyle, so do the changing of the seasons of life bring a remaking of our identity. God is remaking me into a woman who hungers after His heart and clings to Him with a fierce grip as I learn to be a momma.
Find it Fast
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